How to Mutiny from the Crow’s Nest
Lay an egg. Holding yourself upright, angle the egg overhead like a third, lidless eye. The crew’s gaze blunders upward. Bastards, bastards. You are the lighthouse keeper now and this is your warning.
How to Mutiny by Hoisting a Sail
Trade out one taffeta petticoat the size of a bos’un’s headache. Cook will pooh-pooh this “dirty rag”; your shipmates ignore another wind-inked cloud. Eyeing from afar what’s aimed at their jetty, shore dwellers will assume black sails mean the end of you and act accordingly.
How to Mutiny Via Peg Leg
1. Fold one of your real legs up like a shorebird does.
2. Whittle a bottle from driftwood; upend and attach.
3. When the watch changes, remove this appendage.
4. Empty into it what you’ve stolen
5. scent of damp hammock
6. Drop your real leg back down and bind this to its twin.
7. Hoist the peg leg.
8. Leap overboard, mermaid, your new ship in your arms.